Dating, Love & Psychedelics

By Sitar, a facilitator and practitioner who supports people to live a life — and have relationships — of depth, passion and love.

Psychedelics are a hot topic lately as US states are beginning to loosen their regulations on substances like Psilocybin (magic mushrooms) and San Pedro. With Oregon being the first US state in 2020 to officially offer full legalization and regulation for Psilocybin, psychedelic therapists and practitioners are preparing to offer their services to the broader audience, above ground. I am one of those practitioners.

After working for many years around the topics of connection, love, intimacy, sensuality, and being an avid psychonaut, I recognize the important perspectives psychedelics can give us in regards to our relationship with ourself and others. Here are some insights into journeying for elevating how you do love — solo or in relationships. Make sure you check out the Preparation Checklist For Journeying With a Partner, Friends or Solo below.

Awareness, healing, and radical rewiring

Psychedelic journeys allow us to attain altered states of consciousness. These states of expansion (within our mind, body and heart) help us discover ourselves in a deeply meaningful way. They can spawn insights (exquisite ‘aha’ moments, understanding what expands or closes our heart, self-awareness, universal awareness, processing shadows) and support deep healing (pains, traumas).

This radical rewiring and discovery often starts with our first relationship — the relationship with ourself. Self-love and self-harmony is essential for a thriving life. These experiences can also be generous toward our dynamics with others — our romantic and family relationships — guiding us towards balance & harmony.

Giving enhanced inner vision, intentional use of psychedelics can sometimes give the wisdom of years of therapy, in just one sitting. They help to get answers to those big questions in life and relationships.

Art by @instaphazed

Intentionally using psychedelics for relationships: with self and others

Being a human is not always easy. Being a human in relationship with others is definitely not always easy! Through the power of fear and negative past experiences, we can end up with some pretty sabotaging patterns. For example, when meeting someone new, I tend to become very attached and lose my own sense of self and identity. My reality narrows onto this person and I lose sight of other aspects of my life (friends, nutrition, physical activity and more). Over time, this unhealthy pattern will sabotage the relationship or it will simply become very unhealthy and unstable.

An intentional psychedelic journey can help me get answers to questions I’m struggling with — in relation to myself, or relationship. It can support me to re-establish connection with myself and others in ways I can’t when I’m in the thick of a challenging pattern. These moments of awareness can help me to see my partner more clearly and authentically, slowly peeling the attachment from my point of view, enabling me to create a more balanced new reality with them. When journeying with my partner, psychedelics offer a totally unfiltered space to talk so we can really connect and get to the heart of what’s happening (and restore the relationship!).

Your intentions matter

The intention with which we enter into the psychedelic realm (and life) matters the most. In a journey, we can set specific intentions related to love and intimacy. We may ask questions like…

How does my ideal partnership look and what will help me get there?
What is blocking my heart?
How can I love better and more fully?
Why have I not met someone who I really click with yet?

Ask and you shall receive. As long as we ask ourselves deep and meaningful questions, we will receive such answers, helping us advance ourselves towards our goals via a path of self-development.

It’s a really good idea to meditate before you begin your journey to connect really deeply with your questions and begin to tune into the answers. Stay aware, observing and listening throughout your journey.

‘Bad’ trips

While journeys can include ease, peace and even bliss, sometimes parts of the journey can be very difficult. These are not moments to shy away from — in the muck of the subconscious, we find a lot of gold. It’s important to breathe, stay calm, and observe in these moments. Don’t attach to what you’re seeing or feeling, just notice and be very curious. Watch everything as if you’re watching a movie and understand what’s happening. Pray. Meditate. Ask for help. Let go (don’t hang onto the difficult stuff either!). Answers will come. And like everything, this too shall pass. Remember that.

Journey safely — prepare well

That being said, a word of caution, as psychedelic journeys can be very intense and can induce heightened vulnerability on all levels of your being. These experiences require proper preparation — in mind, body, spirit, and environment — in order to support you in the best possible way. We should only embark on such journeys with people we trust, a professional tripsitter, or consecrated shamans, in places that feel safe to us, and on occasions that feel aligned with us. Going on journeys alone is only recommended when you have experience and are certain you can support yourself with whatever comes up.

Psychedelics are not for everyone, nor should you feel you ‘should’ try this now. If you feel strong hesitation, it’s probably better to say no and see how you feel about it another time. If you often hesitate and struggle to ‘jump’ and go for it though, you may like to choose differently and take action.

Preparation checklist for journeying with a partner, friends, or solo

If you’re doing this with a partner, it’s great to discuss this together!

Readiness and desire

Do I really want to do this?
Am I in the right place in body, heart, and mind for this now?

Intentions

What questions do I wish answers to?
What are my intentions for this journey?
What are my prayers?

Time, place, people and safety

Is this the right time?
Is this the right place where I feel safe and comfortable?
Do I have the right people with me who I feel safe with and who can support me?

Things to have close-by

Do I have the necessary safety mechanisms/kit nearby?
Do I have water and fruit ready?
Do I have my journal and a pen close?
Do I have the clothes I need to be safe, comfortable, not too hot/cold, protected from the weather?
Do I have anything I may want for my experience — instruments, paint, pens, paper?

Remember to start by clearing the space and setting intentions. Aftercare is excellent too — journal or talk through everything with your partner after you’ve taken time to land.

Disclaimer: Lua does not advise on using illegal substances. This content is for informational or educational purposes only, and does not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals.

🎨 ARTIST @instaphazed (Phazed)